my love,

love demands curiosity

but your walls are so high
no one could reach them

no one could breach them

no one could love
who’s inside them

you’ve rearranged the stars above me

the ground beneath my feet

now i look up
and nothing is where i remember it

the stars have started
to resemble you

constellations could have been named after you

as if the sky
has hidden you somewhere

expecting me to find you

so tell me why?

why do i feel these things for you?

butterflies at the mention of your name.

a smile at your goodnights.

tears at your silence.

i know your walls

i had lived behind them too

i see the way you are.

you are curious about the world.

you want to know its depths.

retrace history.
get to know it.

you care.
oh, you care.

so let’s retrace our steps.

what did you see in me?

what drew you in?

i just kept waiting
for you to care about me too.

where is that curiosity
when it comes to me?

you give me butterflies.

what do i give you?

love demands curiosity.

you’re cold, my love.

silence becomes you.

when the world becomes too much,
it closes in on you.

but what about me?

love demands curiosity.

ask me about my favourite music.

ask me about the books i love.

ask me which stories have altered me.

ask me what i was reading
when i first learned
it was my favourite thing to do.

ask me about the songs
that carried me through rooms
i couldn’t stay in.

ask me about the things
that made me.

the things that broke me open.

the things that stitched me shut.

ask me what i remember
when i smell rain.

ask me why autumn is my favourite season.

ask me what kind of life
i would paint
if i could choose the colours.

ask me what i believe.

ask me what i fear.

ask me what i want
when nobody is watching.

ask me.

ask again.

i don’t care about the rushing.

i don’t need to know everything.

i want the things
that leave fingerprints.

the books with folded corners.

the songs played until the tape wore thin.

the names we still can’t say
without becoming someone else.

oh my love,

how i wanted to know your soul.

and how i wanted to be yours.

but love demands curiosity.

and for me,

you have none.